Last Monday felt like a major turning point. In order to allow the cast (yes, we have a cast for the musical workshop performances!) to learn their parts, I had to stop writing and re-writing the first act. In order to not spend $180 on copies every week (yes, $180!) I had to commit to something, print it, and hand it out.
It’s not permanent. The whole point of the workshop is to observe and learn and keep making changes. But holy smokes it freaked me out, trying to get the script to a point I could live with for seven weeks, knowing I would be hearing it read and sung and performed and discussed. I had to take a deep breath, and surrender. Surrender to letting everyone in, to letting them work with it in an unfinished state. Surrender to letting them — you — see something that is unformed, unperfected, in some places unclear.
Yikes! (see last week’s post for more on that feeling)
But then…I got through it! And it was seven o’clock, and the cast was there, and I was handing them scripts. Jillian, the director, whipped the cast into order with amazing skill. The actors blew me away with their sensitivity and good will for the process. And now…we’re rolling!
Oddly, it doesn’t feel as scary anymore. In fact, I really want you to come see it, and tell me what you think and feel and wish for and react to about it. The fear will come and go, ebb and flow, but underneath it all, I’m so stoked to be working on something so deeply collaborative. It’s rich and rewarding and difficult in all the right ways, I think.